Friday, August 30, 2019
Gay Marriages Essay
When newer lifestyles creep into our society, inline with our thoughts and liberties, guardians of the older versions are likely to be taken back. These lifestyle changes happen in every sphere of life, like the way we eat or work. In getting along with it, we may have to abandon our traditional ways. Sometimes these may go unnoticed, as it may be beneficial to all, having none to worry about it. But other times the issues in question may be very important and fundamental, and there would be a social debate. Homosexuality and gay marriages is one such issue, which is still being debated widely. With homosexuality and gay marriages becoming increasingly present in our society, it is important that the subject be well debated and all issues projected so that it helps people to take appropriate decisions. The issue of homosexuality is not just relevant for the partners, but also to the families they are a part of, and to the society as a whole. It is therefore important that the society be well informed of the legal and social aspects of gay marriages, while being alive to the fact that evolving lifestyle issues could knock at anyone’s door. The media has a very important and responsible role in helping the larger part of the society to come to terms with evolving lifestyles.                This is perhaps what the film ‘The Wedding Banquet’ has attempted and succeeded. ‘The Wedding Banquet’ is a thoughtful and touching Chinese film revolving around homosexuality and family ties. The film brings into focus the perception of modern lifestyles, from the traditional point of view, and the difficulties and experiences involved in coming to terms with it (Don). The film projects homosexuality in a wider perspective. A gay relationship, in the midst of a heterosexual marriage and parenting, shows the wider realm of homosexuality and gay relationships. The film brings into focus a gay relationship between a Taiwanese expatriate Wai-Tung and his doctor boyfriend Simon. When Wai-Tung’s parents pressurize their son for his marriage, he plans to buy time by putting impossible conditions for his bride. However a dating company succeeds in finding a suitable match, when Wai-Tung strikes into a convenience marriage with his tenant Wei Wei. The marriage would help Wei Wei from being deported. It is when the parents of Wai-Tung reach America for the wedding banquet of their son, does they know of the developments in the family. The film has several turning points like when Wei Wei seduces an inebriated Wai-Tung and becomes pregnant, leading to deterioration in his relationship with Simon. Wai-Tung’s father approves of the actions of Simon, who he takes as his adopted son . His mother on the other hand is drawn affectionally to her daughter-in-law, whom his father considers as a business participant. At the end the father and mother leave for Taiwan, without any discontent. The movie definitely seems to address the issue of homosexuality in the family context. Bringing the issue of homosexuality face-to-face with traditionally heterosexual cultures, gets everyone on their toes to accept the reality. Lifestyle choices are here to stay and traditions must pave way to it and coexist. This low budget film won recognition for its director Ang Lee, who himself makes a short appearance as a banquet guest. It also won the Golden Bear award in the Berlin Film Festival of 1993 and the best film and best director awards at the 1993 Seattle International Film Festival (Berardinelli, 1993).                      The rights of homosexuals are increasingly gaining support with time. Homosexuals are being more welcome in our society and their rights are becoming more obvious. Gone are those days when homosexuality was considered a serious crime and homosexuals looked upon as people with sick minds. Although there are societies which still consider homosexuality a crime, it isn’t as dreadful as it once was. These developments indicate the growing perception that homosexuals are a part of our society and therefore should be accorded equal rights, equal protection and equal support from all welfare activities. The favorable trend towards homosexuals may be attributed to the general liberalization of policies in most parts of the world, broader thinking among people and the mixing of cultures and mingling of economics. But it is indeed sad that this never before support, is not extended to gay marriages. A major part of this support and backing, of homosexuality stops short of gay marriages. This indifference to gay marriage, particularly from among supporters of homosexuality stems from their perception of marriage and homosexuality. Gays are generally thought to have multiple partners and that therefore their relationships cannot be deep or emotional. The gays are considered as uncommitted and not being capable of forming lasting relationships. This description of gays cannot be challenged, as gays do have such relationships too. However, it should be noted here that such relationships also exist in heterosexual or straight society too, maybe to a small extent and that too mainly among the youth. What most people need to understand about gays is that, as gays grow and mature, they too like their straight counterparts begin to value and seek committed lasting relationships.                   It is important to realize the basics behind the emergence of homosexuality. Homosexuality is a naturally developing phenomenon. However, most ignorant people attribute it to a defiance of heterosexual norms and an intention to experiment. Some people feel that gays could choose being a heterosexual if they wanted, but that, only a very few consider that they have a choice. It is only like heterosexuals being asked to choose the sex they are attracted to. It should be understood that being a gay is natural and not selected. Several gay people, both men and women recall being attracted to people of their own sex from a very young age. The sexual orientation in most people emerge at a very early age like early adolescence, even prior to any sexual experience. Homosexual orientation is a complex subject and cannot be explained by any single or a simple, plain model. No consistent results have been found from research undertaken for homosexual orientation. Despite studying evolutionary and hormonal pattern in homosexuality, scientists have not yet understood the development of homosexual orientation in an individual. Therefore it is improper to assume that homosexuals have a choice, which they have chosen to bypass. Today however, most scientists agree that sexual orientation results from an influence of environment, cognitive and biological factors. Genetic and inborn hormonal traits play an important role in deciding a person’s sexual attitude. Psychologists and psychiatrists believe that homosexuality is not due to emotional or mental disorders; and it was in 1973, when the American Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality from its official list of emotional and mental disorders, after appropriate research (APA, 2008). Research based on twin studies also indicate that male homosexuality is genetically mediated. A study with about 76 gay brothers and their families in 1993 by Dean Hamer found that gay men had more gay uncles and cousins on the maternal side compared to the paternal side. One of the most reliable finding in homosexuality adoption was reported by Blanchard and Klassen in 1997, which suggested that the odds of an individual being a gay increased by 33% correpondingly for each older brother. It has been implied that the male foetus causes a maternal immune reaction which is increasingly stronger for each successive male foetus.                 Gay marriages are wrongly perceived by many people to alter family environment. The customary saying that marriage is an institution between a man and a woman holds no water, as there is no real and moral judgement behind it. Such definitions of marriages only raise questions on the eligibility and authenticity of the defining person or institution. Who should be the one to define marriage?. They feel that same-sex couples cannot provide the necessary environment for children’s normal growth. In continuation of this, many consider same-sex marriage as a deterrent to births and continuation of species. They don’t realise that marriages are not just directed to bearing children, as even infertile couples choose to marry or heterosexual couples sometimes choose against having children. Marriage is more about sharing, love and commitment and less about bearing children. It should be realized that gay couples are capable of raising children as much as any straight couple. The fact that there is no significant difference between the children of gay and straight couples, has been proved by research. Psychologists are of the opinion that the gender of the parent is not important in raising the child; it’s the love and commitment on the part of the parents that matter. As for the continuation of species, human species are in no danger of dwindling due to reproductive failure. In fact the population explosion is really disturbing and serious issues are at stake for the oncoming generations. Gay marriages can only help in slowing the rate of population increase, than adding to it. Gay marriages have seen results, since it has already been experimented. Denmark legalised gay marriages in 1989. Several Dutch cities have had same-sex marriage rights for many years. The clergy at first offered opposition to the Danish law and a survey conducted at that time indicated that about 72 percent of the clergy opposed the law. However another survey conducted in 1995 revealed that 89 percent of the clergy supported the law. Gay marriages have been experimented and proved to strengthen the institution of marriage and contribute to the society. Any doubts on the success of gay marriages are fully vacated and its positive impact on the society acknowledged.                     The interpretation of gay marriage in religion should not be ignored when considering gay marriages. Given the binding of religion and its influence on every aspect of life, people consider religious beliefs above all contemporary issues associated with gay marriages, when deciding on them. Some religions are against homosexuality and gay marriages while some do not consider it as something important to be preached upon. In the Old Testament only two passages are referred to homosexuality, among the several thousands (Piazza, 2007). Buddhism in fact attracts several homosexuals, as there isn’t any homophobia preaching in it. The Theravada Buddhism considers all relationships i.e.; gay, lesbian or straight as being personal matters bearing mutual consent (Robinson, 2008). Therefore all relationships are considered constructive and acceptable as long as both partners are happy. Many people, who believe in Christianity, oppose homosexuality and gay marriage, on the basis of the bible. It should primarily be noted here that the bible was written at a period when there was no understanding of homosexuality or psychosexual orientation. The bible therefore does not recognise people as lesbians or gays. The inference was only directed to homosexual acts committed by persons who were considered heterosexual. However, the bible has been successfully used to interpret the views of both advocates and opponents of homosexuality whenever homosexuality is deliberated. According to the Roman Catholic Church, any sex that does not lead to procreation should be avoided and thus the use of condoms and masturbation is condemned. However, it should also be noted that the church approves sex among sterile couples and sex during pregnancy, which do not lead to procreation (Corvino, 1997). An important aspect of bible interpretation is that, many Christians interpret all texts with much flexibility except when it comes to homosexuality, where  all references to homosexual acts are taken literally. The bible actually pays very little attention to this subject and most importantly Jesus speaks nothing on this topic, in the New Testament. This apart, most instructions and recommendations of the bible are of lesser relevance today, like avoiding pork. The teachings are subconsciously breached casually, as we go about our everyday lives. For instance, there was a prominent woman once spoke at length against homosexuality, in the course of which she broke several Biblical laws by Levitical standards (Piazza, 2007), namely speaking in church, she taught men and wore a cotton and polyester dress. The Bible interestingly has a few example of same sex love. David’s love for Jonathan was implied to be greater than his love for woman, Ruth’s deep love relationship with Naomi and Ruth’s words of pledge are used in most heterosexual weddings.                     Even though gay couples are now socially accepted like never before, they are far from equal civil rights. The withholding of civil rights to gay couples can sometimes be life ruining and even life threatening. The inconvenience and sufferings of gay couples as a consequence of these unequal rights can be endlessly said. In most American states, gay couples are not given the right to make medical decisions for their partners, during emergencies. State laws stipulate that the hospitals should reach out to the families of the hospitalised partner, thereby ignoring the gay partner’s concern. Very often, the families are not in good terms with the gay couple, and may even be without contact for a considerable long time. It is obvious that the decisions taken by such families would not be in the best interests of the couple. It is sad that the hostile family even have the right to exclude the partner from the treatment room. Even upon death, the will of the gay partner can be easily challenged and custody decisions overturned by the family (Bidstrup, 2004). Families have the right to deny the surviving partner, even a visit to his partner’s grave. There are several cases where gay couples had been extremely careful in drafting their will, which however were overturned, leaving the surviving partner literally penniless. Whenever arrested, gay couples are forced to provide evidence and testify against their partners. Most gay couples, particularly the older ones have numerous such stories of injustices meted out to their friends or acquaintances. The testimony of a gay partner is as irrelevant as the testimony of a complete stranger, in most courts. In case the partner is jailed, the right to visit the partner is denied in most cases. In matters of law, arrest or imprisonment, the whims of a hostile family and the cooperation of a homophobic judge can have devastating effects on the gay couple. The discrimination is pathetically extended even to the children of gay couples, as gay parents are not able to get parenting rights when children are brought into their family, either by birth or through adoption. These are some civil rights issues, which are in no way connected to the nature of marriages. State laws, which provide for the rights of legally married couples, are denied for gay couples.                   Gay couples are definitely not accorded equal rights, although the situation is improving and would one day catch up with those accorded to heterosexual couples. One must not forget that African-American marriages were not allowed, till the end of civil war. Until 1967, there were at least 15 states that prohibited interracial marriages. It required a US Supreme Court decision that year to ensure inter-racial marriages throughout the United States (Robinson). Same sex marriages are recent happenings, which were earlier not permitted anywhere in the world. The law is often the deciding factor in the fate of homosexuality like in November 2003 when the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court termed the ban on gay marriage as unconstitutional. Legislators have indeed played an important role in the acceptance of homosexuality and gay marriages. However there is a lot more for them to do. There are many states in the US, which have yet not legalized gay marriages. Apart from US, there are only a few countries that have recognized homosexual relationships. Social acceptance is a major struggle for homosexuality, which however can begin only after its legalization. Given the progress in acceptability of homosexuality till now, it is evident that all constitutions should and one day, would legalize homosexuality. It should be noted here that the European Union had demanded Turkey to form more liberal laws on sex, as a condition for its membership. Once homosexuality and gay marriages are legalized, the law should provide for the rights of gay couples, and for individual partners. Gay couples should be allowed to live peacefully like any other family, raise children and plan for their future. Homophobic attitudes should be better identified and punished when it attempts to hinder the rights of gay couples. Gay couples too have the responsibility to stand up against victimization rather than suffer alone in silence, fearing social stigma. It is rightly appropriate here to mention the fact that Brendan Fay had lodged a complaint against the Polish president for using his marriage images to warn his countrymen against gay marriages. Fay’s marriage to his partner Tom Moulton, and their marriage certificate was shown in his televised address to the nation. Fay said he considered it to be an insult and has complained to the Polish Consulate in New York (Salazar).                     The debate on providing equal rights to same-sex couples would go on. The public support for gay couples, would gradually translate to more support for marriage rights. However it is the law, which ultimately dictates on the right to gay marriages. The right of the individual to exercise his choice on his personal matters would ultimately be given to him, to enable him to select the gender of his partner. When South Africa’s highest court recognised same-sex marriages and decided to extend legal marital rights to gay couples, it became the first country to do so in a continent, which condemns homosexuality. It must be noteworthy to mention here that South Africa’s constitution is one of world’s most advanced and progressive constitutions. Constitutional reforms are important for any society to meet its trends and demands. Conservative societies should recognise and be willing to accept newer trends and passions. Just like racist discrimination was ruled out, a new dawn awaits the universal removal of discrimination to gay marriage; a dawn when all gay couples can live happily with all rights and liberties, without any fear or discrimination. â€Å"Although we cannot find that a fundamental right to same-sex marriage exists in this state, the unequal dispensation of rights and benefits to committed same-sex partners can no longer be tolerated under our state constitution,†said New Jersey Supreme Court Justice Barry T. Albin, while offering equal rights to same-sex couples.                  Education too has an important role to play in understanding homosexuality. Understanding the demands and options of today’s lifestyle, is very crucial for any individual, and one should have the relevant education to take appropriate decisions. Our traditional educational policies should be revamped with the realities of today. Educators must let people know to what extent the law currently permits one to select the gender of the person he or she wishes to marry. Educators must be prepared to transform individuals as responsible persons capable of loving, marrying and raising a family, irrespective of the gender of the partner he or she would be married to. Recognition of same sex relationships as being equal to traditional marriages would drastically redefine the meaning of family (Knight, 1997). Educational policy makers should realize that they hold a sacred duty of imparting education and social skills incorporating relevance to homosexual society too. As the legalization of homosexuality and gay marriages are slowly but steadily gaining ground, one thing is clear; these steps will always progress in the same direction. Therefore education must also keep up closely in the same direction for the welfare of its beneficiaries.                The legislators have a moral responsibility to provide and ensure proper implementation of the marriage rights of gay couples, as civil and partnership laws cannot provide the same benefits as that of marriage (Johnson, 2007). The educators have a responsibility of not only transforming the society to be receptive of gay marriages, but also ensuring that gay couples succeed in every aspect of life. The society as a whole should not only integrate gay couples into its fold, unconditionally, but also be fully prepared to welcome newer lifestyle changes of tomorrow.                                                  REFERENCES Don Willmott (2004) The Wedding Banquet [Electronic version]. Retrieved on March 19, 2008 from http://www.filmcritic.com/misc/emporium.nsf/reviews/The-Wedding-Banquet Berardinelli, James (1993) The Wedding Banquet [Electronic version]. Retrieved on March 19, 2008, from http://www.reelviews.net/movies/w/wedding_ban.html Salazar C. New York man files complaint against Polish president for anti-gay marriage speech. International Herald Tribune (19 Mar, 2008) [Electronic version] from http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2008/03/19/europe/EU-GEN-Poland-Gay-Rights.php American Psychological Association. Sexuality [Electronic version]. Retrieved on March 19, 2008, from http://www.apa.org/topics/orientation.html#whatcauses  2008 Piazza M.S. Homosexuality and Christianity [Electronic version]. Retrieved on March 20, 2008, from http://www.cathedralofhope.com Robinson B.A, (2008). The Buddhist religion and homosexuality [Electronic version]. Retrieved on March 18, 2008, from http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_budd.htm Corvino John. Why shouldn’t Tommy and Jim have sex? A defence of homosexuality. Same Sex: Debating the ethics, Science and Culture of Homosexuality, Rowman and Littlefield Publishers. (1997). Bidstrup Scott, (2004). Gay Marriage: The arguments and the motives [Electronic version]. Retrieved on March 18, 2008, from http://www.bidstrup.com/marriage.htm Knight Robert,. How domestic partnerships and Gay marriage threaten the family. Insight bulletin, Family Research Council. (1997) Johnson, Ramon. (2007) Gay marriage around the world. [Electronic version]. Retrieved on March 20, 2008, from http://gaylife.about.com/od/samesexmarriage/a/legalgaymarriag.htm
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